your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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