Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I stole a fireplace last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
