you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
