real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
