"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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