Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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