A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
The ass gains better be worth it
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