You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I can't put those talents on a resume
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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