Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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