I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
