We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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