What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
