I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Semen is not good for contacts.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
