The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
