I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
