i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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