And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize