Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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