I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
This is my life. Enjoy the view
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
