I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it's like heaven, but drunker
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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