worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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