My nipple is on Facebook.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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