Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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