...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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