normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
