I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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