everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
