I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
