As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
