Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
