I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
