I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
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There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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