Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
