we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
