i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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