I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
