tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize