how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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