I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
