he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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