The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
