They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Say something about gay babies.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
