I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
