I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
