He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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