He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
