After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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