I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
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