So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
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You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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