they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
