I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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