My hand turned me down
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Come see our sink grown plant.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
