Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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