your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
