don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
