At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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