wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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