wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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