these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
