My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
