Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
