Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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