I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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