Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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