Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
