does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
