You made me cry and you don't even care
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dear god my vagina.
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