Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
