Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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